GORUCK

*warning the following post will have a higher than normal amount of profanity. You've been warned*

So today I had the distinct pleasure of participating in a GORUCK Challenge in Perth. And yes before anyone asks I finished. Don't know what that is? Here ya go. I can say that everything shown in this video we did, although each challenge is different and that won't be the same for everyone. However as I sit here is with my knees and elbows rubbed raw, my neck 100% demolished, sunburn on that awkward spot I always forgot to get behind my shoulder when I wear a tank top, and so much pain in my legs that stairs are a monumental issue and I have to physically pull my legs into my car what can I say about it?

First off holy FUCKBALLS THAT SUCKED. I have done many hikes in my time up to 20 miles and ran a 12k last year. While yes that list isn't extremely impressive I can say without a shadow of a doubt that GORUCK is in a league of its own. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. No one cried at the end, but I think that was just because our bodies didn't have any fluids left.

So the challenge itself. What did it consist of? Well I am not going to answer too many specifics other than to say go look at the video above and the GORUCK website. They give a fairly good idea of what to expect. I will say this. We walked out asses off, got wet(twice!), got to run up plenty of stairs, and did exercises I haven't done since wrestling at TJ. There were also missions to contend with and of course bricks in our bags.

So you don't want to let my fatass do this and then silently call you a pussy for the rest of your life? You too want to experience the personal and shared hell that is a GORUCK Challenge? Well I have some advice:

-train. The further out in advance that you can schedule it the better. General fitness should take you where you need to go, but also be sure to be familiar with the special hellish exercises that wrestling coaches and drill sergeants love. If it can be done with 0-equipment and has an animal in the name it's a good place to start. Also train for mental toughness. Have a buddy steal you car and not tell you where it is. Run that extra mile. Then another. Then another. This thing is a game played a lot between the ears so be ready.

-chose your bag and shoes wisely. I found the GR1 to actually be an awful and made the whole ordeal much worse. So do your homework and get a good small pack(waist belt recommended) and figure out how it fits. This will make your life so much easier it isn't funny. Also use good shoes. I used my running shoes and it was fine, so I would suggest a similar strategy. The rest of your gear won't be as big of an issue, but the guys wearing long sleeve technicals raved about them, and I can see why(damn you skinned elbows!).

-bring snacks. You will be out for about 10 hours or so and will not be stopping for food. Really you don't stop for much or anything(other than when a group member passes out but that is another story). So bring plenty of snacks. And be ready to share. Also bring water, but don't worry you can refill on the road so a 3L bladder system is probably a good bet.

-embrace the team. This is a teambuilding thing. Yes with strangers. You will be the anchor at some point and drag the team down. Everyone is. One girl on our team puked 45 min in and had to be helped along for a bit, but was a rock the rest of the way. You will need the team to pull you up when you are dragging them down and as such should help your teammates when they need it. The challenge is set up in a way that it is designed for a team.

-embrace the suck. This will suck. A lot. Like a fucking lot. You will think about quitting. A lot. Like a fucking lot. Don't do it. Lean on the team and let the suck wash our you like a calming wave.

All in all it was a hell of a time and I would suggest it to everyone who reads this. I know a lot of you wont. Some of you are old and see it as pointless, some have injuries and illnesses that will get in the way, and most of you are simply fucking lazy. My fat drunk ass did it and in fact crossed the line carrying not only my own pack but one of a teammate who needed help. Like I said my body will be ruined for at least the next month or so. But you know what? So fucking what. I made a group of new friends and shared a lovely stroll on a sunny day with them. Saw parts of Perth I might have never seen otherwise. And most of all I know I can do a challenge because I did it. Can you say the same thing?