Not the real Australia

First off apologise as I am typing this on my phone while walking home from the gym. Gonna fat finger a few words for sure.

Anyway I had a conversation with a coworker today about how my blog was very Perth. Apparently her bf did a blind read and called that I live in Perth. It made me laugh because, while she didn't say it or even imply it strongly, the underlying current was that living in Perth and working in mining isn't experiencing "real Australia". Never mind that Perth is Aus' fourth largest city and mining is a very important industry to the area and country at large economically.

That being said I get it. I have said the same thing to people who visit NYC or Vegas only and form their opinion on the US based on that alone. Is it complete? No. Is it true to what they have experienced? Yes. I would however hope that people realize that they have only seen a very limited part of a bigass country in that case though, much as I try to temper my opinions on that fact that I spend limited time outside WA.

So I guess I should be more conscious of the fact that my observations are Perth centric. My experiences in this country will always be tempered by that. Oh and unnamed coworker if you're reading this feel honored you made it into my oh so amazing blog.

Dining out Down Under

So unsurprisingly I once again forgot this thing existed. But hey, I'm back now. I've been on a business trip to Brissy for training and now am in Melbourne for a friends birthday and to see more of the city so I've been eating out a lot. I figured I'd put together a small list of things that are different about eating in restaurants in the US and in Aus.

-When you order water you get a big bottle and small glasses. Usually the bottle is a repurposed wine or liquor bottle or something. I really like this.

-Round pricing. GST is included in the listed price and everything is rounded to usually a half dollar. Sometimes 20 cents

-Lack of table service. Unless you are at a very nice place you order at the bar or counter pay, for your food then take a very tacky looking number to your table and wait for your food. Even nice joints have little numbers on every table. Really makes eating out feel very tacky to me. As the Canadian geotech at work says "I just want a chesty barmaid to bring me my burger and beer at my table damnit. Is that too much to ask."

-No tipping, but you already knew that.

-Fries with everything. Even at really nice steak joints you will get fries with the majority of meals. Not a baked potato in sight.

-Chicken parmesan or as it is called here param is very common. Especially at bars. And again it is always served with fries.

-Not many places have bar stools. The bar is for people to come up and order drinks/food not to sit at as far as I can tell in this country.

-Tabs are handled incredibly inefficiently and no one really uses them. I have to turn over a CC or ID like in the states, but then there is usually a small form to fill out(phone number, addy, etc.) and you get a small numbered card that is your tab. Also the staff always makes opening a tab seem like some big deal and inconvenience.

So yeah overall restaurant culture and experience in Aus is similar to the States, but there are some sizable differences.

Aus real national pass time

When you ask someone what they think Australia's national pass time is most would probably say drinking(see previous post). Maybe one of the several football codes played here or footy as the word shortening locals call them. I would say it is flying however. Aussies love to travel and considering their isolation on the international stage and insanely low population density on the domestic stage flying is the way to do it.

Don't get me wrong Aussies love a good road trip, but when the country is the size of the lower 48, has a population similar to Texas, and 5 main urban centers which account for the vast majority of the population it just isn't practical. I think the phenomenon is best demonstrated by the fact the Ululru, a massive and impressive rock formation in the middle of the outback, has its own airport. It just isn't practical for most people to drive there from the nearest city of any size. Alice Springs is a 6 hour drive through the middle of nowhere away. A daunting task for sure.

I of course have no stats to back up this claim, but I would suspect Australians are per capita the biggest flyers in the world. Geography, love of travel, and a high standard of living make it a perfect storm for a busy airline industry.

So they drink a lot in Oz

In the US Australia is assumed to be a drinkers heaven. We assume everyone spends all day drinking(or "on the piss" as they say here). While this is partly true, alcohol is not the beverage they take most seriously here. Coffee is by far.

I don't drink coffee so I can't comment on quality, but I can say Aussies are obsessed. I read an article where Starbucks had to close down 3/4 of their Australian stores because they couldn't compete with domestic cafes. Based on what I have observed this is not surprising. Every block it seems has 3-4 cafes that all make coffee. I have seen impassioned debated on Facebook and in real life as to the merits of various beans, blends, devices used for preparation, and other nuances I can't even comprehend as a non-coffee drinker. Listening to some of them it is almost as if it a matter of life and death.

So really Australia is more a nation of over caffeinatied coffee snobs, not the drunks everyone assumes they are. Makes for more boring parties, but at least they can get up early in the morning.

A post about where I pee

Anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy a trough urinal. I have been known to say that there are only two reasons to go to TOTS and one of them is the trough urinal. It therefore makes me quite happy that Australia has embraced the trough urinal and his cousin the piss wall. They exist in easily more than half of the public bathrooms I've been into in Oz. And not just parks or dive bars. Even classy joints have very nice piss walls in their bathrooms. Something I wish was more common back home.

Trip report

So about a week ago I took a trip to Melbourne and country Victoria. Fist time out of WA since moving here. It was partly to go see a goofy doesn't matter Canada USA hockey game, but that was really just the excuse. It was a great trip and I have to highly recommend both Melbourne and Victoria at large.

First Melbourne. Like I said I was there to watch the US crush our Canadian brothers in hockey. But that only took on day. The rest of the time I explored the city. And Melbourne is cool. The downtown has great tucked away alleys called laneways that are home to very cool bars, shops, and restaurants. Very cool areas to explore. Victoria is also the second leading state in Oz when it comes to craft beer so we were able to do a beer tour of the city(think classy pub crawl) and tour the brewery of the second largest brewers in the country. Both highly recommended. My host in the city was a coworker who showed my a gin bar where I had a religious experience. I thought I liked gin. I did not know enough about gin to have an opinion.

No post about Melbourne would be complete without talk of her tram system. A series of streetcars that traverse the city in a highly effective and relatively cheap transit system. An important part of Melbourne's fabric. My only complaint was some stops were straight up dangerous. Most were sizeable above grade platforms in the middle of the street with fences to separate people from cars. A few however are simply 1m wide sections of the road with painted lines to delineate it. In the middle of a large 8 lane road. There was a fence to separate you from the cars at least, but they could have easily bursted trough it at the speeds the road moved at. Really insane stuff.

The second part of my trip was a road trip along the great ocean road. My coworker buddy, myself, and one of my buddies friends piled into a Subaru and off we went. First off the great ocean road is fantastic. Cut into the hills right above the southern ocean. Ever 10-30kms a small river would empty into the sea and a small town would sit in the valley. Insanely scenic. We stayed a night in Apollo's Bay which is a larger tourist town on a very nice bay. Fantastic beach, but alas the Victorian winter meant it was cold and rainy. Bit of a shame.

Day two we cut up into the national forest just north and drove some insane logging roads in a very hilly area. Reminded me a bit of SWVA but the plants were all wrong. Way too many germs. When we rejoined the Great Ocean Road it was in the area of The Twelve Apostles. They are very cool I think sandstone formations right on the water. The way the weathered resulted in awesome formations, including 7(there were 12 originally I think) large sandstone pillars in the surf. The sea in this area is the site of a lot of shipwrecks because of powerful currents and the very rocky cliffs.

The last bit was into the dairy region just off the ocean. Drove through beautiful pastoral areas and discovered an awesome local distiller. Had some local cheese and then the next morning back to the city.

My first trip outside of WA since moving over was a rousing success. Melbourne is cool, and country Vic is cool. Much more of a temperate climate.

Pictures!! Random pullover on the Great Ocean Road, some Apostle's, and the national forest we explored.

The good, the bad, and the cliched

So I have been writing this post for about two months bow. It is basically my thoughts on Oz one year into this adventure. I decided since I am a horrible writer a simple list would work better. Simple caveats that while I do live in Perth and work fifo this doesn't diminish my opinions. Some people have said that isn't "real Australia" but it is a big part of it and one that cannot be ignored especially in WA. I have admittedly not traveled around Oz at all, but this is something I am rectifying. Starting by getting on a plane the Melbourne in a few hours. But for now onto the list.

The good:
-the weather is fantastic in Perth. Telfer is a bit miserable in summer, but manageable.
-aussies are friendly. As a group I find them to be very outgoing.
-the pay is fantastic.
-meat pies while terrible for you are amazing. A good meat pie is not to be missed.
-there is a massive traveling aspect to Aussie culture. If you are my age and haven't been to SE Asia, Europe, and The States you are in the minority. Gap years are common and encouraged.
-it is a very safe country. I've been to some of the rougher parts of Perth and have never felt unsafe unlike when I end up in SE DC.
-outdoor lifestyle is big. You go to the beach and hang out on your patio year round.
-sunday sessions(think Sunday fun day) are an important part of the fiber of Perth.

The bad:
-the cost of living is insanely high.
-education doesn't appear to be very highly valued. Esp in the mining sector.
-it is remote from just about everywhere.
-i disagree with some of the fundamental things the government does that are largely viewed as OK. Public funding of sports, banning certain sites on the internet, etc.
-Perth lacks 4 distinct seasons. I want fall back damn it.
-no snow
-aussies are arrogant about how great Australia is. More so than Americans I find. Almost to the point of not being able to see her flaws.

The cliched:
-i just wanted a snappy title OK?

So yeah overall I have to say that Australia is treating me OK, but I am for sure moving back home. This isn't a place I want to make my long term home. I'll try and take advantage of my time here in terms of travel, something I have done a poor job of so far. It's a nice place to visit for sure, but I would recommend anyone wanting to move here long term think long and hard about it. If for no other reason than the remoteness of the entire country.

And now enter some random Aussie I didn't know read this hating on me and linking the new education plan as proof that they do care about education here.

State of Origin

So tonight was game 1 of this years State of Origin series. What that is is Queensland and New South Wales play a 3 game series in rugby league. Right in the middle of the NRL season. Teams are decided by the state you first played senior rugby league in. It's a very cool idea, and really taps into a lot of state pride. It is considered the best rugby league in the world. Better than even the world cup. I mean I don't like league very much, but even I get into Origin a bit.

I wish we did something like this back home. An east-west(not north south oh god civil war comparisons) football game that the players cared about. The closest thing I can think of is the Big 33 that PA and OH do every year and that is HS ball.

Oh and NSW won the game. My Maroons(can you guess why I picked them?) will have to win two in a row to keep their 7 year streak alive.

A conversation I had recently

Me-So my house is weird. The fuse box is outdoors.
Aussie buddy-Most houses in Oz are like that. It's so the power company can read the gauge.
Me- Yeah in the US we put the gauge outside but the fusebox inside. Yuknnow so dicks can't shut my power off on a whim.

GORUCK

*warning the following post will have a higher than normal amount of profanity. You've been warned*

So today I had the distinct pleasure of participating in a GORUCK Challenge in Perth. And yes before anyone asks I finished. Don't know what that is? Here ya go. I can say that everything shown in this video we did, although each challenge is different and that won't be the same for everyone. However as I sit here is with my knees and elbows rubbed raw, my neck 100% demolished, sunburn on that awkward spot I always forgot to get behind my shoulder when I wear a tank top, and so much pain in my legs that stairs are a monumental issue and I have to physically pull my legs into my car what can I say about it?

First off holy FUCKBALLS THAT SUCKED. I have done many hikes in my time up to 20 miles and ran a 12k last year. While yes that list isn't extremely impressive I can say without a shadow of a doubt that GORUCK is in a league of its own. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. No one cried at the end, but I think that was just because our bodies didn't have any fluids left.

So the challenge itself. What did it consist of? Well I am not going to answer too many specifics other than to say go look at the video above and the GORUCK website. They give a fairly good idea of what to expect. I will say this. We walked out asses off, got wet(twice!), got to run up plenty of stairs, and did exercises I haven't done since wrestling at TJ. There were also missions to contend with and of course bricks in our bags.

So you don't want to let my fatass do this and then silently call you a pussy for the rest of your life? You too want to experience the personal and shared hell that is a GORUCK Challenge? Well I have some advice:

-train. The further out in advance that you can schedule it the better. General fitness should take you where you need to go, but also be sure to be familiar with the special hellish exercises that wrestling coaches and drill sergeants love. If it can be done with 0-equipment and has an animal in the name it's a good place to start. Also train for mental toughness. Have a buddy steal you car and not tell you where it is. Run that extra mile. Then another. Then another. This thing is a game played a lot between the ears so be ready.

-chose your bag and shoes wisely. I found the GR1 to actually be an awful and made the whole ordeal much worse. So do your homework and get a good small pack(waist belt recommended) and figure out how it fits. This will make your life so much easier it isn't funny. Also use good shoes. I used my running shoes and it was fine, so I would suggest a similar strategy. The rest of your gear won't be as big of an issue, but the guys wearing long sleeve technicals raved about them, and I can see why(damn you skinned elbows!).

-bring snacks. You will be out for about 10 hours or so and will not be stopping for food. Really you don't stop for much or anything(other than when a group member passes out but that is another story). So bring plenty of snacks. And be ready to share. Also bring water, but don't worry you can refill on the road so a 3L bladder system is probably a good bet.

-embrace the team. This is a teambuilding thing. Yes with strangers. You will be the anchor at some point and drag the team down. Everyone is. One girl on our team puked 45 min in and had to be helped along for a bit, but was a rock the rest of the way. You will need the team to pull you up when you are dragging them down and as such should help your teammates when they need it. The challenge is set up in a way that it is designed for a team.

-embrace the suck. This will suck. A lot. Like a fucking lot. You will think about quitting. A lot. Like a fucking lot. Don't do it. Lean on the team and let the suck wash our you like a calming wave.

All in all it was a hell of a time and I would suggest it to everyone who reads this. I know a lot of you wont. Some of you are old and see it as pointless, some have injuries and illnesses that will get in the way, and most of you are simply fucking lazy. My fat drunk ass did it and in fact crossed the line carrying not only my own pack but one of a teammate who needed help. Like I said my body will be ruined for at least the next month or so. But you know what? So fucking what. I made a group of new friends and shared a lovely stroll on a sunny day with them. Saw parts of Perth I might have never seen otherwise. And most of all I know I can do a challenge because I did it. Can you say the same thing?

Why you gotta be such a dick April 16th?

This post has been written, edited, rewritten, and then scrapped again at least three times. The tragedy in Boston is the latest in a long line of such tragedies all over the world. Such tragedies as the death of score of Iraqis on the very same day in election related violence.

I was lucky enough to not be affected personally by the bombings in Boston, but they did make me think. Not about terrorism or the cause of attacks. Not about how the perpetrators should be treated. No grand thoughts like that. They would come later. I thought about life and how fleeting it is. I thought about how people where dead for simply standing at a finish line of a marathon.

For some reason I felt compelled to do something in reaction to Boston. Maybe because it happened on April 16th. Maybe because I am maturing and I find myself reacting to tragedy more noticeably. I thought about doing something. Anything. And then I decided what. I am going to run a marathon. Not in specific memory of Boston. Such things strike me as masturbatory and pointless. I am running instead because I can. To prove I can't be intimidated by cowards. To give myself a goal.

So I'm running a marathon in 2014. Not sure where or when yet, but that's just details. I'm running a marathon not for Boston, or the 32, or anything else. I'm running for me.

Apparently American's can't take a joke

So I was out at dinner the other night with some work friends and one of them made some small joke at my expense. I reacted and defended my decision or whatever it was that he was mocking, and he told me to take it easy since he was "just taking the piss out of me". Basically an Aussie way to poking fun at someone. He then went on to say that he has noticed in the American's he knows that none of us can take a joke, and all defend our decision or something. Note sure I agree with his assessment, but I have found myself taking the bait when people make jokes lately. So who knows. Maybe he has a point.

Same moon different stars

When my little sister was leaving Germany after one of her many study abroad programs, her host father gave her the "no matter how far away we are we will both be looking at the same moon" speech that while true and heartfelt is a bit cliche at this point. I was thinking about that today while walking back from the gym. I happened to look up and for probably only the fourth time since moving here looked at the stars and really realized I don't recognize a single damn one. No Polaris or Orion's Belt to give me a frame of reference. I had to whip out my phone and fire up Google Sky Map to even find the Southern Cross which is a bit embarrassing. I am going to have to spend more time star gazing and do Mrs. Hennig proud.

What he said

So this past Christmas one of my super awesome cousins(of which I have a few) gave me two books. One was In A Sunburned Country and the other was A Walk in the Woods. Bill Bryson had been recommended to me, and her logic was a book about Australia and one about home. Suffice it to say it was an awesome gift, but that isn't the point of my post.

My point is this. If you want to know my opinions on Australians(not necessarily Australia) read In a Sunburned Country. I am only half way through, and am not even sure if I like Bryson as an author yet, but every time he makes an observation about Australians I find myself nodding in agreement. I can only imagine that this has lead to many strange looks while reading in public paces. I can only imagine what my reaction to his take on Virginian's will be when I get to A Walk in the Woods, although to be fair the people on the AT represent a special breed.

Well that's a cool job metric

So today I was talking to a buddy in the IRC channel I idle in. It was the end of the work day, and it had been a good one, so in a jovial offhand way I said "another day in the books, another 80 tons of explosive blown up." I really didn't mean anything by it, but my friend(who is some sort of analyst in the defense industry) responded along the lines of how the metrics for my job were so cool. It was a pleasant little reminder that I so get to do cool stuff that most people will never get to do or see.

Anyway it really helped me since I have been a little down in the drumps since my trip home. Reminded me that I am doing cool stuff, seeing things most people will never see, and shouldn't be upset about it. I miss and love everyone back home, and I'm coming back sooner or later, but until then I should enjoy making things go boom and living down under.

Long time no see.....

So unsurprising to anyone my posting has fallen off. Not heaps has changed in the past few months, as about half of it was spent on an awesome trip back home to the US that gave me a major case of homesickness. I'm back into the grind and enjoying Australia while I am here. I have been here long enough to figure out that this isn't my permanent home, but I gotta take advantage of it while I am here. I'll try to update it more regularly, but who knows.